Some people say that Bai Shan filial piety is the first,
Some people say that it is a mother.But when filial piety conflicts with motherly love, how would you choose?
Recently, I encountered this problem for eight months of pregnancy. I was uncomfortable in the third trimester. This incident made me sleepy.
My husband and I are both the only children at home. They have been married for more than two years, and their relationship has always been good. Both parents often help our family.
When I just found out pregnancy last year, they were all happy, because this would be the first grandchildren born in the two families, and all their families were full of expectations.
However, the joy of the new life has not been maintained for a long time, and the thunderbolt came on the sunny day: the father -in -law suffered from lung cancer, and it was late!
The news made us caught off guard, and the mother -in -law collapsed even more, and washed with tears every day.
At this time, I was pregnant again, and I couldn’t help too much. I helplessly, my husband asked for a long vacation and wanted to accompany him to cure his illness.
In order to make my husband less care, I took the initiative to return to my mother’s house so that he could make time and take care of my in -laws.However, the miracle has not occurred, and the father’s condition has been deteriorating.
Although no one has mentioned it, we all know that the father -in -law may not live this spring.
A few days ago, I went to the hospital to visit my father -in -law.In the past, he had been tortured by illness.
He told me a lot, and gave the children several names. The names and girl names were all available, so I chose myself.
He said that his biggest regret in his life may be that he could not see his grandson or granddaughter.
I feel sad when I hear him.Grandfulness is usually generous, and it is also very good to me. Why is God so unfair to him?
After the visit, my mother -in -law found me and put forward a request that surprised me very much: a cesarean section in advance!
She said that the father -in -law had little time. If he could see his little grandson or granddaughter’s birth before he died, then he could leave without regret, and we could feel better.
Moreover, I have been pregnant for 37 weeks. I can choose a cesarean section. Some people around her choose to have a caesarean section in order to give the child a Geely birth date. The maternal children are very healthy and there is no problem at all.
Is this really appropriate?
As I hesitated, my mother -in -law cried.She told me that after half a month, it was the 60th birthday of the father -in -law. In this special case, a grandson and grandchildren who fell to the ground was the best life gift for him.
I discussed with my husband, and he also agreed with the opinions of her mother -in -law. He felt that he died without seeing the birth of his grandchildren. This was too cruel to the father -in -law.
Both their mother and son were crying, and I was soft -hearted, and began to think about the feasibility of caesarean section in advance.
However, my parents resolutely opposed the early caesarean section, thinking that this would affect my health’s health, and also scolded my mother -in -law and husband, saying that they did not know the severity and were irresponsible to me and my children.
Especially my mother, I do n’t know where I have collected some cases. Every day I told me that the caesarean section was harmful to the maternal and children in advance.
Seeing that I was about to reach 37 weeks during pregnancy, my heart was very tangled.What can I do to reverse the situation and make it happy to make this matter.
Filial filial piety, flat the water
When facing a major choice of life, we must listen to the suggestions of professionals.
Is giving birth to a child or a cesarean section? Is it the most professional or not in advance?Who is the most authoritative?Of course, a doctor of obstetrics and gynecology!
You have been saying that your mother -in -law’s suggestion and your husband’s suggestion have been saying that your parents have a strong attitude of opposition, that is, he has not listened to the advice of your doctor.Do you think the doctor’s suggestion is not important, or do you have to forget the doctor’s suggestion?
I think you should be anxious and chaotic!
However, before you listen to your doctor’s suggestion, I still have to talk about my views on this matter for your reference.
First of all, I think that under the premise that there is no pregnancy problem, it is best to have a child to give birth.
Perseverance may exist in cesarean section in advance.It is just that the harm is large, small, explicit, and hidden.
We can’t see that someone has no problem in the cesarean section in advance, and we think that no one has no problem in cesarean section in advance.Your parents are resolutely opposed to the early caesarean section. Their views may be a bit radical, but it is not unreasonable.
Secondly, such problems currently occur, of course, due to the differences between the two generations of fertility production.
From the perspective of your mother -in -law and father -in -law, they want to see the urgent mood of relatives and grandsons are also human, but you and your parents will be difficult to accept;
From your perspective, if you only stubbornly think that production is your own business, regardless of the feelings and wishes of the elderly, your father -in -law may leave the world with regret, and your mother -in -law and husband may complain about youEssence
However, we also have to see the interdependence of contradictions so that we can see the hope of solving the problem.
Why your father -in -law wants to see his grandson birth before dying. This may be the obsession of an old man, but I believe he hopes that the grandson in the future can be healthy, safe, and happy.
Therefore, even if your father -in -law leaves with regrets, as long as your mother and son are safe, your father -in -law’s spirit in heaven will be pleased.
Therefore, at this time, the key to having its own opinions and grasping the problem is the greatest love for the upcoming child, and the biggest filial piety to the father -in -law.
Otherwise, if there is a problem, how will you bring your child to the father -in -law when you have a problem?
Yes, "Filial Filial Piety is the first", but the real "filial piety" is not the "filial piety" of Guo Ju’s buried children, but the "filial piety" that takes into account the rationality of science and humanity.
You can tell your doctors’ suggestions and the pros and cons of a cesarean section in advance to tell your father -in -law. I believe that they will also weigh the interest relationship and may not be stubborn.
During the father -in -law’s hospitalization, he took more time to visit the father -in -law and spent a little bit more about the father of the father -in -law. He made a little dish he liked to eat for the father -in -law.
Finally, you must communicate with your husband well, and you must reach a united front with your husband.Of course, your husband and wife reached a united front, not to deal with your mother -in -law, but to communicate better with your mother -in -law.
Under what circumstances, the necessary communication is indispensable.
This issue of expert Xiao Jun:
Psychological, marriage consultants, authored the "Law of EQ in Marriage and Love".
Today’s Women’s Newspaper Emotion Clinic column talks:
This article is the original manuscript of the Women’s News/Fengwang.